SLIGHTLY UNBALANCED IN THE MEMBRANE

When it came to food, at least. Here are three things with very good marketing that I’m now very glad my mother never allowed me to consume:

1. Long John Silver. Good lord they made that fish look tasty on TV. How on earth does this chain stay in business?

2. Lucky Charms. The freeze-dried marshmallow is not half as delicious as it appears when an animated leprechaun is firing magical rainbows into it.

3. Sunny Delight. It looked like orange juice, only much, much more refreshing. In real life, this beverage tastes like Rust Belt sadness covered liberally in high fructose corn syrup.